Saturday, October 21, 2017

Types of Narcissists - Characteristics

There are some very broad types of narcissists, but that I can find, no one has taken it down to individual characteristics.  When we talk about a serial killer, we have many different types, yet when we talk about narcissists, we have flamboyant and covert and not much else. 

Let's start with the basics:

Overt vs Covert
An overt narcissist is the flamboyant narc.  They have grandiose fantasies.  They are the life of the party and can ruin it in a split second.

A covert narcissist is "shy".  They still have fantasies, but worry comes into play and they are not flamboyant in public.    I have found a very good article that discusses the two types here  or if you like seeing chart style,

Possessive vs Non-Possesive
The possessive narc wants to own you.  This is a dangerous type of narc and this narc can kill you.  This narc grabs hold of you and does not want to let go.  This narc will try to force you into a relationship quickly. Some may try to have a family with you quickly, while others may be happy to just move in. 

The non-possessive narc is most likely to use you for sex then move onto someone else.  You start out the relationship thinking you have met your soulmate but soon come to realize that you are a booty call. 

Cheaters vs Faithful
Believe it or not there ARE some faithful narcs.  I would say 1% or less, but they are out there.  If you cant decide, assume your narc is a cheater until their faithfulness has been proven.

Dependent vs Independent
The dependent narc will try to get you to support him or her.  You start out dating someone, then they ask for money to help with a bill, or go out to dinner and ask if you can pay for it because they are short of cash.  Before you know it, this narc has moved in with you and has become a leech.  You can't ditch the narc because you can't get them out of your life.  This narc might have a job, but chances are, once they move in with you, the job vanishes and you are left as the breadwinner. 

The independent narc has a job and a life outside of you.  You may not even know about parts of their life.  They may offer to take you on trips, but there is always a price to pay.

Mobile vs Immobile
Does your narc have a job that allows him to move often?  Long distance truck driver? Contract work?  If ;your narc moves about the country finding new supply in each location, this is a mobile narc.  This is the type of narc that has a girl in every port.  As long as the supply does not find out about the other supplies, everything is good.  Some may move about often, while others may build relationships then jump to the next contract in a different part of the country and be gone. 

In contrast, an Immobile narc stays put in the same location, finding new supply as often as they wish.

Hoover vs Dump Cold
Most narcs will try to get the supply back into the relationship at some point.  Some will triangulate when they have a new supply while others may wait a little longer, then work on getting you back into the relationship.

Dump Cold narcs are done with you when they are done with you.  When this cold hearted narc is finished with you, you are out of their life for good.  Your purpose has been served and you are no longer of use to them, so you are gone.  No hoovering, it's just over.

You can categorize any narc in this way from narcs you work with, to same sex "friend" narcs, parent narcs and lover narcs.   Try it..what is your narc type?

My mother:  Covert, Non-possessive, Faithful, dependent, Immobile, Hoover
My former narc friend:   Overt, non-possessive, faithful, Independent, Mobile, Dump Cold