A narcissist does not want you to move on and have a good
life. The best thing you can do to get
revenge on a narc friend, co-worker, spouse or parent is to have a good life
without them in it. A narcissist will
discard you at a moment’s notice and tell you that you are out of their life
forever. You are in shock. You felt like your relationship with the narc
was perfect, that you were meant to have met, that it was destiny…then they
leave. It hurts. You are in disbelief and shocked. You mourn the loss of the relationship, but
just when you are at the edge of finally being able to fully move on, it comes…..
Bait.
The narc who said they would never talk to you again
contacts you. This is bait. You have to decide if you will take it or
not. The most difficult thing you will
ever do is resist bait. The reason is
that the bait was planned for you personally from the day the narc met
you. The narc got to know you and what
you wanted in life with the intention of being able to use what you love to get
you back into their cycle of abuse. What
do we know about bait?
1.
The bait
is personalized for you and you alone.
Some people a simple, “Hi” will get the narc back into their lives. Others need more and will have a verse to a
favorite song or a note that the narc was thinking about you, or the narc still
has a gift you gave to them. Some narcs
go all out and swear they will change if you only allow them back into your
life.
2.
The bait
worked before. The narc knew you
were vulnerable because they have done this before. It worked and the narc was able to keep his options
open. He needs supply. He needs you to be around waiting for him,
thinking about him.
3.
The bait
is intended to keep you from moving on with a productive life. The last thing the narc wants is for you to
move on with your life. Some want you to
be the side chick for the rest of their lives, others just want you to hurt and
think about the relationship you lost..the fake one.
4.
If you
take the bait, you make the narcissist feel powerful and in control. By not taking the bait, you make the narcissist
feel small and insignificant, although they will never admit that to you.
5.
The bait feeds
the narc’s ego. It is intended to
see if they still control you. If you
take the bait, the narc knows you still pine for him or her and feels powerful
and feeds their image of themselves as a god like person that can get anything
they want.
6.
The bait
is to get something from you.
Whether it is sex, affirmation, money or just attention, the narc is
baiting you to fill their own personal need, not yours. The narc does not love you; he or she loves
themselves through you. You are a vessel
to make them feel good, but a new one works better and you will always be discarded
for new supply.
Now comes the hard part.
Will you take the bait? Will you
allow the hoovering to work? Do you want
a lifetime of abuse or do you want to move on?
Ask yourself this question.
Has the narc done this before?
Was the narc hoovering someone when you were together? Is this what you want for your life?
The best way to get revenge on a narc is to move on. When you move on and do not take the
hoovering bait, the narc feels small, powerless and worthless. This was the opposite of what the narc
wanted, he or she wanted YOU to feel small, powerless and worthless and it
backfired! The narc will not understand
why it did not work, and he will sit and stew over it and feel a sense of
worthlessness and then he will go about his business and find new supply to
make him feel better. The bait may come
once, twice or multiple times and it will be personally suited to you, but the
power is in your hands. If you take the
bait, you feed the narcissist. If you go
no contact and have a happy life, the narc has no choice but to move on.
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