Key Point #4 It's Always Your Fault When Dealing With The Narc

Yes, it is always your fault.  It does not matter if the narc is a co-worker, a mother, father, partner, husband, wife, sister or friend.  It is always your fault.



You just caught your boyfriend or husband narc cheating.  It's your fault because you over-react to everything, so you were not told.  People have to walk on egg shells around you, they are scared of you so they don't tell you anything.  It's your own fault.  You pushed the narc into cheating by being suspicious even if you weren't.


Your father is dying of cancer and your narc mom decides to plan a trip.  She is currently punishing you for something so she isn't talking to you.  Even though they live 600 miles from you and have to drive 2 miles away from your home to get to the beach, you aren't told there is a family vacation. Why?  Because you would cause drama.  Someone might have to do something you want to do while they are at the beach and it's the last trip ever for your dad, and no one wants to remember you in it because you are so demanding.   You find out there was a trip when people start posting photos of everyone at the beach.  If you ask anyone why you were not invited, you will be the drama maker.  The narc mom who planned on omitting you from the trip is a victim of your drama.  So you cry alone instead because without doing a thing, it was your fault.


You invite your narc mom to your son's Eagle Scout Ceremony.  She said it sounds boring and she does not want to go.  You tell her that they plan on honoring the grandparents and you are expected to let them know why grandparents won't be there.  You can't tell them the truth, so you are forced to lie.  She finds out and is angry about the lie you chose to tell.  It's all your fault, you caused drama.  Her real reason was not the drama here, YOUR lie was the drama.


The narc will always turn things around on you.  You will be expected to put up with their cheating, cover for their lies and do it while worshiping the ground they walk on.

If you choose to keep the narc in your life, this will be your life. Here are some books I found helpful: