Thursday, April 6, 2017
Your Narc Has Cancer!
You are relaxing one day and get a call from your long lost narc's cousin. She says your narc was diagnosed with cancer and she just thought you should know. She said the narc is very ill and they are all worried.
How do you react?
If you are no contact, your response is:
I hope you understand that I am no contact with the person you are speaking of, and because of that, I can't listen to this call. I hope you understand. CLICK.
I know it sounds harsh, but no contact means no talking about the person, no speaking their name, no listening to other people talk about them. It means the person does not exist to you. You cannot break your no contact for any reason...even cancer.
If you are low contact, you need to do some further thinking on this one. First off, is it true or is it "bait" to get you to spend more time in the presence of the narc. Narcs can and do lie about illness to get attention. This is pretty easy to figure out. Ask what Dr they are seeing. Ask if they are seeing an oncologist and which practice and which doctor. If you choose, you can even trick them and ask if they are seeing a nephrologist (a kidney specialist) for their brain cancer.
When you get the call, ask questions. The person on the other line may or may not have dug deep, but ask if they offered to take the person to their doctor's appointment. Ask if they think the narc would agree to a family meeting with the doctor so that everyone can know what the plan is for the treatment and they won't have to keep bothering the narc asking about treatment.
Narcs can be creative. I met a narc once whose Doctor did not exist and who only talked to the family via text message when the patient was at appointments. Doctors do not text medical information. They aren't allowed, yet this person had everyone believing she was dying of cancer.
Our goal is not to be mean to a person who is actually diagnosed with a disease or illness. Our goal is to be aware that narcs make up illnesses to bait us into coming back into their lives. By intercepting the person that delivers the message and asking them all kinds of questions, you take the focus off of you and put it back onto the narc.
If your narc has a disease or illness, I am sorry, and I wish you the best in dealing with it, but if your narc is trying to bait you, please take some time and ask questions and get other people to ask questions. The more details that are required from the narc, the more chances they have to slip up.