One thing that bugs me is that we hand over control to the narcs in our lives, then complain about it.
How many times have you heard someone say:
My mother in law kicked us out of her house, so we are homeless
My mom went through everything in my room
If I leave the narc, I won't have a job because I work for him
Seriously? Why do we hand over our lives to these narcs?
If you live in a narcs house where the mortgage is in the narc's name, they have every right to play narc. It is their home. You are a guest in it. If you don't like it, move out.
Never borrow money from a narc, never take a job from a narc. These are plots to bring you in line and force you under their control.
If you find yourself in this situation now, make a plan to get out.
One person told me that her narc mother in law owned the house they lived in and sold it to them on a verbal land contract. She said if she moved out, she would lose her 4 years of equity. Needless to say, narc mother in law kicked her out with three kids and no where to go. Did it really matter that she would lose equity on a verbal land contract?
Another person emailed me that her narc mom would not stop going through her personal items and always cooked food she hates. I suggested she make her own meals and make a plan to move out. She made excuses. She still lives with her narc mom and probably always will. She became very offended when I said she cannot complain about a person that pays for the roof over her head (if she is over 18).
Narcs want to make you dependent on them. If you are dependent on a narc, make a plan to get out. Find another place to live, find another job. The narc wants you to feel hopelessly stuck.... are you?
You deserve someone who feels that you are enough.
For more support, read How to Get Over the Narc